Are You Dumb On Purpose? Porcupines, Skunks and HoHos.

Charlie is a young boxer. He had a busy morning last week running around his owner’s farm. First he ran through some wonderful mud. Then he popped over to the neighbor’s fence line to bark at their dogs for a minute so that they would remember to stay out of his yard. While he was barking, he noticed something moving in the corner of the field.

Was that a cat? Was it a rock chuck? Either way, it would be delicious!

Charlie charged toward the unexpected snack and dove into the long grass where it had dashed to hide. What he found waiting there was not a cat. It was not a rock chuck. And, it was not delicious. It was a skunk, or to be more precise, the back end of a skunk. Charlie had never tasted a skunk before…He still hasn’t. What he did taste was truly awful…cow pies taste better (Yes…Charlie knows about such things…never kiss a dog).

After spending half an hour or so rubbing his face on the grass and moaning, trying to get the sting out of his eyes and the stink off his snout and out of his mouth, Charlie trodded toward the house. Half way there he saw a chance for redemption. The mighty hunter would not go home empty handed after all! There, behind an old tire, was another delicious-looking creature….one he’d seen often on the farm but could never climb the trees to catch. And here it was in an open field! Charlie rushed toward his unsuspecting breakfast, mouth agape in anticipation. He pounced on the creature and then shot vertically into the air three feet above the ground with a tremendous shriek.

Wow! That really hurt!

He figured he must have done something wrong. He’d never bitten anything else and had that experience. So, like any intelligent gourmet, he bit it again. Yup. That hurt too.

Charlie is dumb

Some mornings you should just stay in bed.

Charlie spent the rest of the morning with me at the vet clinic having a nice nap while I pulled porcupine quills out of his face and mouth. We had all the exhaust fans going and the window open so we wouldn’t pass out from the skunk smell.

Several days later, we saw Charlie again. This time with even more porcupine quills in his face. Apparently he’d gone out to find that rotten porcupine and get even. That didn’t works out as well as he’d hoped.

I think we can all agree that this was pretty dumb behavior on Charlie’s part. But how often do we do the same thing?

How often do we put things into our mouths knowing full well that they will hurt us?

Twinkies, Big Macs, soda pop, beer, candy bars…the list is a long one. We know these foods will eventually catch up to us but we continue gobbling them up. Why? Well they taste good and they’re fun and easy to get. But we always feel lousy afterward. But feeling lousy afterward is the least of our worries. We’re also doing real damage to our bodies. We’re increasing fat, developing glucose intolerance and diabetes, coating our coronary arteries with cholesterol and gorking up our livers, kidneys and guts with synthetic colorings, flavorings, thickeners and preservatives that came from a laboratory instead of a garden. After all, there is a reason they call it “Food Science“.

So what can we do?

Well for starters, we could stop eating so much of that garbage. But you already knew that. But take heart, (not to mention livers and kidneys) because there is something else we can do to clean up our bodies.

We can do an herbal cleanse!

Herbs have wonderful properties to cleanse and even heal our organs. Chorella and Cilantro help eliminate heavy metals. Dandelion flushes the urinary tract. Psyllium cleans the gut. Nettle seed and astragalus are kidney restoratives. Barberry cleans the liver and gall bladder. Milk thistle and cleavers actually heal and protect the liver. There are countless other botanical allies that can help us to clean and restore our bodies.

I recommend doing a good herbal cleanse in the spring and in the fall. Now, let me advise you that many of the cleanses so prevalent on the interwebs are little better than the Twinkies and Whoppers you’re trying to do penance for eating. It seems that some are of the opinion that unless you spend half the night curled up in the fetal position on your bathroom floor moaning and wishing you were dead as part or the protocol, you aren’t really cleansing.

I disagree.

Our bodies are designed to use and process herbs to cleanse and heal themselves. It doesn’t have to be, and shouldn’t be, an uncomfortable process. You should still be able to go to work and have a normal day.

Over the years, I’ve developed a cleansing protocol that has been very successful. You can learn more about the protocol and our HomeGrown Herbalist Herbal Cleanse kit Here

So, chances are we are going to be “Dumb on Purpose” once in a while. That’s OK if it’s not excessive. But it’d be a good idea every spring and fall to follow Charlie’s example and have Ol’ Doc Jones help you clean up some of the results of your dietary indiscretions.

Click Here For More Information on Herbal Cleansing and our HomeGrown Herbalist Cleanse Kit.

26 thoughts on “Are You Dumb On Purpose? Porcupines, Skunks and HoHos.

  1. Susan says:

    As usual, your article gave me way more laughing/smiling wrinkles than I’d like. Thought the article was simply about poor/dumb Charlie, but no. It’s about poor/dumb Charlie in me…!

    • Patrick Jones says:

      Yes, we all wrestle with our inner Charlie from time to time. The good news is there are ways to clean up the mess. :0)

  2. Diane says:

    I have an almost 2yo boxer who looks just like Charllie (although Beau is heavier for sure) so this story really resonated with me. But, I still love my boxer. They are the only breed for me. Thanks for an entertaining read. And we can all relate to your point about eating dumb stuff!

    • Patrick Jones says:

      Boxers are great dogs. For as smart as they are, I’m always surprised at the dumb things they do. They tend to suffer from some impulse control issues LOL

  3. Gudrun B says:

    That poor pup – then again….
    herbal cleanse, yes! I feel crappy having eaten too much cabbage-onion-sweet potato fry tonight, even too much of a good thing can be not so great! At least it was not unhealthy, I stick to homecooked 99.999%

  4. Carol Gibson says:

    What “cleansing” herbs can one use to “clean” up blood clots in the lungs? I am currently on Warfarin. I believe it will dissolve the clots. I was just told by the pharmacist this last Tuesday, no it does NOT dissolve blood clots. Only a couple of things do that , and I haven’t been given any of those things because they are too risky.

    • Patrick Jones says:

      I’m not a fan of fiddling with blood clots. Shrinking them can dislodge them so that they can take off and cause another PE or stroke. Best to let the body manage them I think.

  5. Stacy says:

    With the prospective horrors of self inflicted carb comma coming up at the end of the month this is most timely advice! POOR CHARLIE! You chewed on Porci twice? That’s just sad! Funny the way it was written,(way to go Doc) but still sad for the pup!
    Doc, can children cleanse internally? I’ve heard a lot both for and against, I trust your advice. Mr Googlepants rides the fence too much!

    • Patrick Jones says:

      For kids under 16, I’d probably just increase fiber and green leafy veggies and decrease junk food. Older teens can cleanse.

  6. Sharon says:

    It’s always easier to learn something when it’s presented in a humorous way. Your stories are wonderful at that! I learned a new medical term, too….”gorking!” ; )

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